


Remember Me In Pieces

by gaydemonium



Category: Mortal Instruments, Shadowhunters
Genre: M/M, Malec, Malec Angst, Malec Fluff, alec losing his memory, magnus feels lost, so much pain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-07
Updated: 2016-10-07
Packaged: 2018-08-20 02:31:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8232998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gaydemonium/pseuds/gaydemonium
Summary: Alec loses his memory and Magnus rushes to find a spell to cure him before time runs out.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [PatronusMalec](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=PatronusMalec).



> A sequel to I Could Never Forget You. Satan aka me strikes again to bring you pain and heartbreak
> 
> This story is for Su. Consider it an apology

If you don't know the heartbreak of your loved one forgetting who you are entirely, then you will never understand what I went through; what I'm still going through. 

My husband (depends how you view it) Alec lost his memory months ago. To this very day it's a struggle just to wake up in the morning and realize that your own husband has no memory of you whatsoever. Sometimes, I even had to reintroduce myself which just about kills me to do, but it needed to be done. I had no qualms with it. It's what you do for the people you loved. 

As of right now, Alec was sitting at the kitchen table doing a crossword puzzle. To be completely honest, the house was quieter now that he didn't go off on missions. He didn't come home exhausted. He didn't come home injured. Things were....normal. Or as normal as a warlock and a Shadowhunter with no memory of his past was going to get. 

I stepped into the kitchen, clearing my throat to make my presence known. He looked up and flashed that brilliant smile that I fell in love with ages ago. "Hi. How's that puzzle coming along?"

"Oh, it's coming along. That's all I can really say," he chuckled and scratched the back of his neck. "What's up? Did you need me for something?"

I shook my head. "Just wanted to see how you were doing. How are you holding up?"

"Since you moved in, I've been doing great," Alec smiled. "I don't feel as alone anymore. Like something....something feels right when I'm with you. Like a puzzle piece inside me was filled in."

Oh boy. My heart might've just shattered in that very moment. It felt as if I bungee jumped off a bridge and the cord was wrapped around my heart, but the cord was ready to snap. That's what I felt like right now and it was sickening.

"That's good. No one should be alone. Or feel alone." I took a seat next to him, taking a deep breath. "Would you like to go for a walk with me? Get some fresh air?"

Alec beamed. "I would love that! The weather channel said it calls for sun all day, so our walk should be a beautiful one."

Oh, Alexander. So pure and innocent. I miss the old you where you always geared up first before going for a walk. You always had a blade on you or your bow just for "safety precautions" as you used to call it. Seeing you now as you grab just a light jacket almost makes me want to shove a weapon in your hands, but what would you say if I do? Not that I'm going to do it. I just miss the old you. 

"So where are we headed?" He asked as we went out the door. 

"Oh, you know. Here and there. Wherever our feet take us. Brooklyn is a big city after all," I smiled at him. The childish curiosity in his eyes reminded of Max, whom he probably didn't even remember. Max was probably in Idris setting fire to something by accident. That kid was something else. 

Our walk took us through a well known Downworlder neighbourhood, which Alec didn't even react to. A man walked past us with horns on his forehead and Alec didn't even do as much as flinch at the sight of him. He just smiled and said hello and kept on going. Could he.....no. It wasn't possible. 

"Alec.....let's go this way," I took his arm and led him towards the Institute. He obliged happily. We stopped outside the church and looked up at it. To me it looked normal; lights on inside, a few Shadowhunters bustling about outside. Normal Shadowhunter things. But could he see all of it?

"What are we doing outside an old abandoned church?" Alec asked, neck craned up to look at the roof. 

I guess that answers that question. "You mean you can't see what's really happening? You can't see the lights on? Or the runes on the outside of it?"

He snorted. "Magnus, have you been drinking? There's nothing here. It's an old church. Nothing is happening. It's probably been abandoned for years-"

"No, it hasn't." 

I turned towards the familiar voice. Jace has stepped out of the shadows like the creepy yet extremely handsome stalker that he was. Arms crossed over his chest, he looked like one of those dark anti heroes you read about in books and comics. Did I mention he was extremely handsome?

"I'm sorry.....do I know you?" Alec's voice sounded wary of this new stranger (I use the term stranger loosely. Jace wasn't a stranger at all). 

Jace nodded. "You do. We've known each other for a long time. We grew up together, actually. Your parents adopted me when I was 10. You were 13. We're pretty much brothers."

From the corner of my eye, I saw Alec beginning to shake his head. "No. No. I don't know you. Whoever you are, you're making a mistake. You have the wrong guy-"

"I don't have the wrong guy, Alec. You're my brother. You just don't remember me. We're parabatai."

"Parabawhat? What does that even mean?!" Panic now replaced the wary tone in Alec's voice. This was becoming too much for him. I could see it in his eyes and hear it in his voice. 

I stepped in. "Jace, maybe we should just show him. It might be a lot easier than filling his mind with just words. It's obviously scaring him."

Jace glanced at Alec before sighing heavily. "You're right. Maybe he might remember something this way. And just for the record....this is scaring me a lot more than it's scaring him."

He took out his stele and rolled up his sleeve, drawing a rune on his wrist. Alec watched intently. There was a flash of recognition in his eyes, but it disappeared just as fast as it came. 

"What's he doing?" Alec whispered to me. 

"Drawing a rune on his skin. Like the marks you have on your skin."

"I don't have marks on my skin."

Jace snorted. "He can't see the Shadow world anymore, Magnus. That includes his own marks. Hopefully this will work on someone-" He froze, clearing his throat. "Give me your hand, Alec."

Alec set his jaw. "No."

"Give me your hand or I'll make you give me your hand. Don't make me force you to do it."

Alec was about back away when Jace grabbed his hand. "What are you doing?! Let go-"

My inner fangirl screamed when Alec froze in place and his jaw went slack as the glamors surrounding the Institute fell away before his eyes. I knew now that he finally saw what I saw and all was suddenly right in the world. 

Jace finally let go of his hand. "There. Done. Now he can see past the glamors again. Including his own marks."

"I don't have-oh!" Alec looked down at his rolled up sleeves and saw the black markings on his skin. "These weren't there earlier! What the hell did you do to me?!"

"I didn't do anything. They were there for a long time. You just lost the ability to see them," Jace nodded his head towards the church. "Now follow me. There's some people who want to see you inside."

"Inside that old church? That magically turned on all the lights? Where did these people come from? It's like I blinked and they were there...." Alec followed close behind me, occasionally brushing his hand along mine whenever something spooked him. 

"Or maybe you finally opened your eyes," Jace whispered. "Come on. Our family wants to see you again."

The Lightwood clan stood in the main room when we entered. They were stood around computers and we're talking quietly amongst themselves. When they looked up and saw Alec come in, the entire room went dead quiet. It was eerie. 

Isabelle was the first to rush over and hug him. "Alec! Oh my god. It's been so long since we last saw you!"

Alec looked down at her. "Do I know you too? Are you another  family member that I forgot about?"

Isabelle frowned. "I'm your little sister. Isabelle. Izzy. How much does he actually remember?" Isabelle turned to me. 

"Not much. Sometimes he'll recognize some things but then the memory just quietly fades. It's an on/off sort of thing. It's like playing with a light switch on the wall."

Isabelle frowned at this. "Maybe it'll come back over time?"

"I'm right here. Stop talking about me as if I'm not here," Alec snapped, sounding very much like his old self for a moment. "What the hell is this place? Why are there so many people inside an old church?"

I nodded at Isabelle to take the helm. It would make more sense for her to explain it rather than myself. She was his sister, after all. 

"Alec, this place is called the Institute. We're just one of many institutes around the world that fight and protect mankind from demons-"

"Wait a second. Demons? Seriously?" Alec snorted wryly. "Are you all crazy? Is that why this place is an institute? This place is for crazy people?"

"This place isn't for crazy people, Alec. You're not crazy. We're not crazy. None of us have lost their minds. We're a race of warriors called Shadowhunters," Jace set down a book in front of Alec. "Those markings you have on your skin? They're called runes. They give us special powers that help us succeed in battles against the shadow world."

Alec flipped through the pages, occasionally stopping to look at one that caught his eyes. He stopped on the page with the parabatai rune on it, tracing a finger over the black lines. "I don't recognize any of these marks."

"Well you obviously remembered what the parabatai mark looked like. You just ran your finger over it," Jace said. "Subconsciously, you remembered it. Maybe if you just looked through the book-"

"I don't to, but thank you anyway," Alec looked around the room at the computer screens. "How big is this place? It looks smaller on the outside."

"Like the Tardis," I smirked, but quickly frowned when nobody understood my sci-fi reference. "Never mind. You wouldn't know what that is. But yes, the general idea. To make this place seem like something it isn't. It's called a glamor. Lots of places have them. You just have to concentrate to see past them."

I could see the gears clicking in Alec's head as he looked me over. "Do you have a glamor? Are you pretending to be something that you're not?"

I sighed. Might as well show him now. "Yes. I do have a glamor, but I'm not pretending at all."

Alec's left eye squinted; a trait I've always found endearing whenever he did it. "Show me. Show me what you really look like."

"Alec, it's not a big deal-" Isabelle was cut off as Alec raised an impatient hand. 

"It's okay, Isabelle. If Alec wants to see what I really look like, then I have no qualms with showing him. The truth is better than lying," I smiled. Closing my eyes, I let my glamor magic disappear before opening them again to reveal my yellow cat eyes. 

To my surprise (and everyone else's probably) Alec never flinched. He never yelled. He never cringed. He didn't do anything. He looked at my eyes with curiosity more than anything else; not a single sign of fear or disgust in his body language. 

"That's it?" He asked. "No horns? No wings or a tail? Just the cat eyes?"

"Um....were you expecting something else?" I let my eyes change back to their glamored color, which was brown. 

Alec cocked his head to the side, considering my question. "No. Not really. Those eyes fit you, somehow. I can't explain how. They just do."

Naturally I was a little moved by this. He liked my eyes. I shouldn't be surprised by this. He liked my eyes before so what was so different about it now? Maybe he was subconsciously remembering the fact that he adored my eyes before he lost his memories. At least that's what I'm hoping that's the case. More than likely I was wrong. 

Isabelle led us through the hallways of the institute, hoping something would seem familiar about the place to Alec but he showed no signs of remembering any of this. 

Until we passed by his old bedroom door, that is. 

He stopped just outside the closed door, placing a hand on the dark wood. He didn't say anything. Instead, he breathed heavily through his nose and grunted softly. 

"Alec? Is there something wrong?" I asked him. 

"No. Nothing's wrong. I....this used to be my old bedroom. Wasn't it?"

Isabelle and I shared a look that was secretly an internal scream. Isabelle spoke first. "What feels familiar about it?"

Alec tapped the door with a finger. "It's the door. The door.....have I been here before? Like lived here at some point in my life?"

Isabelle gently gripped his elbow. "You have, actually. We grew up here. You. Me. Max. Mom and dad. Even Jace. We all lived here together. Trained together."

I could see the gears working in Alec's head as he considered Isabelle's words. "Max? Who's he?"

"Our little brother. He....passed away some time ago. There's a photo of him in your room if you want to go check it out."

Alec tapped the door again. "You mean I can go inside?"

Isabelle chuckled. "It's your room, Alec. It's been untouched for a while but it's still yours. You can come and go as you please."

Alec looked almost surprised by this. "I can go in then?"

"Absolutely. Or you can go in later-oh you're going in now. Okay," Isabelle looked up at me and shrugged. Same, Isabelle. Same. 

Alec let out a breath he probably didn't even know he was holding as he looked around the room. His eyes were as wide as saucers as he saw the seraph blades lined up against the wall, along with his beloved bow which he ran a gentle finger over. 

"Is this mine?" He asked. "All of this?"

"Everything the light touches," I said with a hint of sarcasm. Not that he'd understand or anything but it made me laugh internally. 

Alec picked up and arrow in his hand. "What would I want with a bow and arrows? Why do I even have it?"

"We hunt demons. Remember? We're Shadowhunters," Isabelle smiled. She had a hell of a lot more patience than I did when it came to reminding him. 

"Right. Sorry. Forgetful again...." He mumbled. 

Moving on from the weapons, he brought his attention to the small picture frames lined up on the dresser. One was of himself, Isabelle, Jace and Max. All the siblings had broad smiles on their faces as they looked at the camera. 

"And that's......Max?" Alec asked when he pointed to the youngest Lightwood. 

"That's him. He was the bookworm amongst us. Even if he didn't wear his glasses he'd still try and read without them," Isabelle smiled. "I miss him everyday. So does our parents. And Jace."

Alec frowned. "How did he pass away?"

This was a touchy subject for Isabelle so I stepped in and gently placed a hand on her arm but she shook her head. She spoke again. "He was murdered by someone very evil. He was only 9 when he died. Barely old enough to start his training."

Alec, clearly uncomfortable with the situation, quickly moved away from the photos and walked over to the bed. This bed brought back memories when I'd portal over late at night for late night cuddles sessions. No one knew I was there because I made sure I was gone by morning. We were naughty like that. 

"Will it be alright if I spent the night here? Maybe something will come back to me if I stayed for a while," Alec asked. 

"Of course! Mom and dad would love to have you here. I'll send them a message in Idris-"

"Idris? What's that?"

I stepped in. "Maybe it's best if I brought you the official Shadowhunter guide to get you brought up to speed. That'll definitely get you reacquainted to the shadow world. I'll even hand deliver it myself."

Alec nodded. "Okay. So it's like a pamphlet then? Like a welcome to the shadow world sort of thing?"

"Ehhhh.....not really. There's nothing welcoming about it. You'll read all about it in the guide. It explains everything and answers any questions you may have."

I gathered Isabelle and let Alec be alone with his past as we backed out into the hallway. Last I saw, Alec was seated in a large armchair glancing about the room. He seemed to be quite relaxed. 

"You didn't tell me he was that bad!" Isabelle hissed. "Why?"

I raised my arms, exaggerating defeat. "I don't know, Isabelle! I'm trying to keep him comfortable and as far away as possible from this world! In case you haven't noticed, he's almost as pure as a child!"

"I did notice, Magnus. I also noticed that he has severe memory loss and had no recollection of our deceased younger brother!"

I flinched at her rising voice. I don't normally flinch at these things but Isabelle was frightening when she was angry. Take it from someone who knew her well. "I'm going to find a cure for him, Isabelle. I'll give him back his life."

Isabelle said nothing for a moment. "I thought you were going to get him a welcome to the shadow world guide?"

"That too!" I yelled as I walked down the hall away from her. I knew the library was stocked with several editions of the Shadowhunter's Codex but I was more interested in the newest version, written and published but none other than Clary Fairchild-Herondale herself. 

Speaking of the redhead, that's exactly who I ran into once I stepped into the library. She was on her way out when I walked right into her, causing her to drop the books she had in her arms. 

"Oh! God, I'm so sorry. I didn't see you there-" She paused once she saw who she rammed into. "Magnus? What are you doing here?"

"Hello to you too. Everyone's still as friendly as ever here, I see," I gathered her books with a snap of my fingers. 

"I didn't mean to sound rude. I'm just....shocked. You haven't been around here in months. I was beginning to wonder if you bailed-"

"Bailed on my husband? I may act like a cold hearted fool sometimes, Clarissa, but abandoning people when they're most weak and in the most need isn't something I make a habit of. Especially when it comes to Alec."

She bowed her head in apology. "How is Alec? Is he okay? He's not....you know...."

"Gotten himself killed? Not yet. He's in his room, actually. We're going down memory lane today. So far the only thing that struck him as familiar was his bedroom door. Exciting, isn't it?" I rolled my eyes as I scoured the bookshelves for the Codex. 

"Well at least it's progress. Better to take small steps and fall than to take big steps and not get back up at all," she smiled. Oh, Clarissa. How she's grown since she first discovered her Shadowhunter heritage. I still remember her as the boisterous redhead who barged into my club and demanded why her memories were gone. It seemed so long ago to me....which was strange. As an immortal, time should only feel like the blink of an eye. 

Maybe I was getting old after all.

"I can see the gears moving in your head. What's in your mind?" 

I glanced at Clary, considering her question. What was on my mind? Too many things. Way too many. Finding a cure for Alec, how I'm supposed to keep Alec from hurting himself, what I was going to cook for dinner tonight, Alec, Alec, Alec. Mainly Alec. But still. Too many things. 

"Oh. The usual. Warlock things," I forced a smile, but Clary wasn't stupid. She never was. Her cold stare made me crumble and break down. "Okay. Fine. I'm worried about Alec. I just told his sister that I'd find a cure for him but what if I fail that task? What if I can't find a cure?"

Clary sighed heavily, laying a friendly hand on my arm. "I think you need to stop worrying so much, for starters. Alec is under the protection of the institute. Plus Jace is here. There's no way he can harm or be harmed-" She raised a hand to cut me off. "And before you say it, you will find that cure. Even if you don't, continue to live life with him at the fullest. Just because he can't remember his past doesn't mean he won't remember the present. Make new memories with him."

"He'll just forget those too," I whispered. I was aware of the fact that my voice cracked but Clary didn't seem to notice. If she did, she wasn't acknowledging my moment of weakness. I guess this was what made me half human. My emotions. 

"Magnus....make every moment count. That's all I ask. I know it's hard but it's Alec we're talking about. He's like a brother to me and I'd hate to see him get hurt. Physically or emotionally."

Clary's eyes were apologetic as she looked at me. "This isn't 50 First Dates, Clarissa. Nothing good can come from this."

"So you're going to just abandon him during a time where he needs you the most? Is that what you're saying?"

"No! God no-" I gripped my hair in anger. "I would never abandon him. Never. I'm just....lost. I don't know what to do next."

I slid down into an armchair, feeling completely defeated and drained of all energy. Clary sat on the arm of the chair next to me and began to rub my back. This simple motion calmed my nerves and helped me think a lot clearer. 

"I rub Gillian's back too when he's angry or upset. It helps calm him down and help him think straight. He's got his father's impatience. Herondales."

Gillian? I wracked my memory trying to remember who that was. A child maybe? Clary's child? Yes. I remember now. The little brat had a head of red hair just like his mother and his father's heterochromia eyes. Beautiful child but terrible temperament. 

"Thanks, Clary. For helping me with this. You've always been very helpful. If I hadn't thanked you for all those times you were, I'm thanking you now."

"Don't worry about it. Right now, focus on Alec. That's where your head should be. Also, the Codex is on the third shelf closest to the window. I just finished putting it back earlier today," Clary smiled and stroked my hair like a child. "You'll be okay, Magnus Bane. You both will."

Her words seemed to comfort me more than they should. Not that I was complaining or anything. I considered Clary family for a long time (she is married to my husband's brother after all) but this was the first time we actually had one on one time together; just sharing thoughts and comforting words. It was nice. 

"Thanks, Clary. That means a lot to me. By the way....what were you doing in here?"

Her face turned red. "In the library? Oh....Gillian drew in all his Shadowhunter history books. I'm trying to replace them without anyone noticing. Please don't tell anyone?"

I smiled and shook my head. "Your secret is safe with me."

She sighed heavily before leaving me to my own devices. As she told me, the Codex was exactly where she said it would be. This edition looked much nicer than the previous versions remember; instead of Raziel holding the Cup and Sword, he was now replaced by a blonde haired Shadowhunters with a blazing sword in his hands. The rune on his body seemed to glow with Heavenly Fore on the cover as I traced a finger over it. Of course, I knew that the Shadowhunter was Jace when he had the Heavenly Fire in his veins. Clary had drawn this for the cover not long ago for the new edition. It was beautiful. 

Alec wasn't in his room when I made my way back. Almost immediately, panic swelled up in my body and I rushed from door to door trying to find him. 

"Jace! Have you seen Alec? He's not in his room where I left him," I breathed heavily. I could feel the onset of a panic attack slowly making its way to the surface, but I had to keep calm. There was no point in panicking when Alec could be perfectly fine. 

"Then maybe you shouldn't have left him alone," Jace pointed out. Smartass. Some things just never change. 

"You're absolutely useless. Useless then, useless now. I'll find him myself-" Jace grabbed my arm before I could stomp away. I glanced at his hand. "Do you mind? I don't like being grabbed. Or touched for that matter."

Jace nodded his head to the hallway beside us. "I saw him go that way with his bow and quiver. He's headed to the training room."

"Training room? How? He doesn't even know where that is."

"Subconscious memories, probably. You'll find him in there for sure. Just make sure he doesn't shoot himself in the foot, will you?"

"Just his foot?" I backed away when Jace shot me a glare. "I'm kidding, I'm kidding...."

Alec was in the training room standing by a target when I arrived. He wasn't shooting any arrows at the moment. Just looking at the target and then down at the bow in his hands. 

"You loved using your bow in battle," I spoke up. He jumped in surprise. "Sorry. Didn't mean to scare you. Are you okay?"

Alec nodded. "It's fine. I heard you come in. Just didn't expect you to say anything so soon," he picked up an arrow and notched it on the bowstring like a pro. "It's frightening, how easy it is for something so simple to become a deadly weapon."

I shrugged. "I guess so. I don't use weapons. I have magical powers to aid me in battle."

"But don't you get tired of using them? Not tired in the sense that you get bored, but isn't it draining?"

I raised an eyebrow at this. "How do you know this?"

Alec flushed. "I'm-I'm not sure. It just popped into my head." He cleared his throat and nodded at the target. "Want to watch me fail at hitting the target? Should be fun."

He beamed as I sat down on the bench behind him, and took his place about a hundred feet away from the bullseye. Taking a deep breath, he raised the bow and pulled back the string, arrow notched in place. He looked so much like his old self that my heart soared at the sight of him. 

Until he released the arrow. 

It veered off at least three feet away from the target and lodged itself in the wooden wall. 

"Dammit. I'm terrible at this. I don't why I even bothered trying...." He grumbled as he tossed the bow to the floor and sunk to his knees. "This is pointless. Bringing me here, trying to get me to remember things from my past. It's all a waste of time, Magius."

"Magnus," I corrected softly. 

"Whatever," Alec snapped back, not appreciating the fact that he had to be corrected. 

I sighed and moved to sit next to him on the floor. "Listen. It's okay if you can't get back into the groove. This is just a bump in the road. Keep practicing and you'll get better eventually."

"I didn't have to practice before, did I? I could hit the target without even looking at it. That's how good I used to be."

"Who told you that?"

Alec squeezed his hands. "Isabelle. She said I was the best archer she's ever seen. She told me I was legendary with it. That's why I came down here to see if that was true. Clearly it isn't."

"Don't say that. It's not true."

"You saw where the arrow went. It was nowhere near the target so it has to be true."

I groaned, not caring if he heard me or not. "Listen. We're going to stay here at the institute for a while. There's something I have to work on that I can't do at home, okay? So hang in there and try to at least hold on to what few memories you do have of your old life? Please?"

Alec's face remained stoic as he stared at the bow on the floor. My heart seemed to miss a few beats as the expression on his face said it all. 

"Alec....can you at least try to remember something from your old life?" I whispered, my voice barely strong enough to ensure the answer that I knew was coming. 

Alec finally looked me in the eye. "What if I don't want to remember?"

That was it. The Berlin Wall or any other historical structural disaster had nothing on the way my heart collapsed inside my chest. What really broke me was the fact that he meant every word he said. He didn't want to remember anything about his past; anything about US. He wanted to simply forget everything and start over but I couldn't do that. Not again. I was more than comfortable with the way things were before this all happened and I sure as hell didn't want to reintroduce myself again to the man I knew like the back of my own hand. 

"Fine," I swallowed. "But can I at least try to find a cure? If it doesn't work, we can move on. Go our separate ways even, if that's what you want to do."

At the mention of going separate ways, Alec's lips parted as if he was about to say something, but no words came out. He simply nodded in response and I didn't bother him for an answer. 

As I got to my feet and headed to the door, Alec said "You have until Friday."

I stopped by the door. "Friday? For what?"

He didn't look back at me. "To find your cure. You have until Friday to do it. Then we're going our separate ways."

My heart sunk but by some freak of nature I managed to keep my voice steady. "Alright. I also got the Codex for you as well. It's on the chair here in case you want to have a flick through."

He said nothing as another arrow was shot from the bow. It didn't land anywhere near the target and I could hear his sigh of exasperation so I left him alone for the time being. 

In the guest room where I was staying, I conjured up numerous medical records and books about memory loss and how it could be cured. Granted, I'm no doctor and not a single word of any of this made a lick of sense, but I had to try. For Alec. This was my last chance to find a cure and stop him from losing even more memories, including the subconscious ones. 

A knock on my door broke my concentration. Grumbling and swearing in Mandarin, I looked up to see who was bothering me this time. To my surprise, a little red headed boy stood in the doorway, his red curls peeking in through the crack of the door. 

"Mr. Bane? May I come in?" He asked. He sounded young, about 9 or 10. 

"Might as well. You already know I'm in here. Can't pretend I'm not here now." I closed my book as the boy stepped inside. Oh yeah. This must've been Gillian. He was the spitting image of his mother with the hair and light dusting of freckles but he had his father's eyes; one was blue and the other was brown. Curious thing, heterochromia. Very rare in humans but not so much for animals. 

Gillian glanced around the room before speaking again. "Mama said there was a warlock here so I searched all the rooms until I found you."

I raised an eyebrow. "Oh? What for? Do you need something? Your mother and father were always coming to me to fix their problems. I suppose it runs in the family, then."

Gillian blinked. "Can you fix my boat?"

"Your boat?" I asked as Gillian placed a small wooden boat with a white sail on the table before me. Something about this warmed my heart and made me forget about the situation with Alec for a moment. "So that's your boat?"

"Mmhm. Papa said if I fixed it somehow he'd take me to Idris and sail it in Lake Lyn. So can you fix it?"

I picked up the wooden toy boat and looked it over. "What's this rune on the bottom?"

"That's the Direction rune. I can control which direction the boat goes in even if there's no wind. Mama made that rune."

I smirked. Gillian seemed awful proud of his mother for making runes. "Can you make runes too, kid?"

"No. I tried but I set fire to my history books by accident. Mama wasn't pleased."

"I can imagine. Where is it broken? Ah I see...." I sprinkled some magic over the mast where it was disconnected from the boat. Once it was put back in place, I handed it to Gillian. "There. All fixed. You'll find that it can't ever break again because I put an unbreakable spell on it so it can't be broken ever again."

Gillian's eyes widened. "Really? If I throw it out the window it won't break?"

"No, but your mother wouldn't be too pleased about it."

The boy nodded. "Yeah. She's always in a bad mood lately. Ever since uncle Alec went funny in the head."

"I'm uncle Alec's husband."

Gillian's mouth fell open. "You're my uncle Magnus? My mom never said you were a warlock! That's so cool!"

I smiled. "Yeah. It is....cool. Haven't your parents told you about me before?"

Gillian shook his head. "No. I live in Idris most of the time. I only come here when mama says I can come here."

Seemed reasonable. I can understand why Clary wanted to keep her son away from the city but to not bring me up during family game night? It hurt a little, I'm not going to lie. But it can't be helped. I had to focus my energy on more important things at the moment. 

"Hey, Gillian. What's your full name?"

"My name is Gillian Christopher Lucian Herondale-Fairchild."

I blinked. "Okay I'm going to stick with Gil, okay? That'll be our cool little nickname for you."

He giggled. "Okay. Thanks for fixing my boat, uncle Magnus." He paused and bit his lip. "Can you fix uncle Alec too?"

Oh damn my heart to hell. It broke once again as Gil asked this question and looked at me with those beautiful little eyes. "I'm going to try my best. That's all I can really say right now."

He nodded. "Okay. Good luck."

He left my room quietly but the quiet didn't last for long as I swept an arm across the table and knocked over the books and documents in anger. If I wanted to, I could've snapped my fingers to clean it up immediately but I didn't. 

I laid down in bed instead. The ceiling had intricate little designs on them. This is the first time I've ever noticed this. They must've been protective runes. It would make sense when you thought about it; there were runes that allowed a room or object to be well protected and guarded. This room must've been important at some point in time. 

I closed my eyes and slowly dozed off. Probably dreamt about something at some point but I can't recall anything. The only thing I remember is waking up to an agonized scream that sounded an awful lot like Alec.  

Up and out of bed faster than I've ever moves in my entire life, I raced down the hall towards his room, only to find his door shut and locked. 

I banged on the door with a fist. "Alec! Let me in! I can help you!"

By now, there was a nice crowd gathered around the door, Jace and Clary included. Alec screamed again, the sound making my heart clench in empathy. 

"What's going on?" Jace asked me. "I can feel his distress through the bond."

"He has flashes of memories sometimes. Sometimes they're good. Other times-" Another scream cut me off. "I'm going in but I have to bust down the door to do it."

Jace nodded, placing a protective hand on Clary's shoulder. 

With a blast of magic, the door exploded off its hinges and I rushed into the room. Alec was curled up into a ball on the floor with his ears covered and drenched in sweat. 

"Alec, sweetie....you're okay. I'm here now. You're safe...." I gathered the broken man into my arms and cradled him. "Shhh. You're safe. No need to cry anymore."

"I saw-I saw demons," he sputtered. "Things nobody should ever have to see in their lifetime. They were right there!" 

I looked in the direction he was pointing in. There was nothing there aside from the vanity that housed his clothes from today and a tray of untouched food. "There's nothing there, handsome. It was just a dream."

He pushed away from my grasp and held his seraph blade tightly in his hands, the blade glowing with a blue light. "I know what I saw! I remember killing several of them. There was music playing too. And flashing lights. Isabelle had white hair...."

I looked up at Jace, who shook his head and mouthed "Pandemonium" to me. "Alexander, let's get you to bed. You look exhausted."

Alec suddenly relaxed as I led him to his four poster bed and tucked him in. "Oh. Magnus. What are you doing in my room? Did you sneak in again? Izzy's going to catch us one day, you know."

His sudden change in demeanor nearly threw me off guard. He was referring to all the times I used to portal over for late night makeout sessions that nobody was supposed to know about. I guess now they did. "Yes....I absolutely did sneak over. What Isabelle doesn't know won't kill us, right?"

I waved a hand when Alec wasn't looking to signal the crowd to go away, which they did. Jace had turned to the crowd behind him and ushered them to go back to work. Thank god for Jace Herondale. He's come a long way since his teenagerhood.

When we were finally alone, I fixed the broken down door with a simple snap of my fingers. Alec was already beginning to doze off by the time I got him all comfortable under the comforter on his bed, his eyes drooping and his head dipping forward. 

"Hey Magnus?"

I looked at him. "Yes, angel?"

"Don't tell Max that I didn't get his stele back, okay? He'll be upset with me."

Did he mean his son or his brother? Either way, I nodded in agreement. "Of course. I won't say a word to anyone. But you really should get it back for him as soon as possible."

He nodded absentmindedly. I could see that his eyes were starting to gloss over. This was the exact look on his face when he was starting to forget again. 

"What are you doing here? You have to put Rafael to bed and make sure there's no monsters under Max's bed."

"Already done," I said, going along with him again. "Max is sleeping and Rafael is reading a book with the covers over his head. He thinks I can't see him that way."

He smiled broadly. He is so beautiful; I can't even describe how breathtaking this man is and how much he means to me. From the day that we met, I knew that he was so much more than a pretty face and a warrior with a bow and quiver. He was a nurturer; a caretaker that looks after everyone else before himself. It was a shame to see such a beautiful mind slowly withering away like this. 

"Are you staying?"

"Of course. Where else should I be if not beside you?" I slid under the covers next to him. 

He shrugged. "Protecting our boys, maybe? Back home?"

"Pffft. The apartment is heavily warded. Plus Chairman shifts into a lion when he's threatened. That's the only magical thing about him." I sighed heavily and moved a strand of hair from his eyes. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you wanted me gone. Why?"

Alec peered at the door before speaking. "The other Shadowhunters are giving me weird looks. I saw it just then before you fixed the door. Is it because we're together?"

I swallowed. "No. Absolutely not. They're totally over that by now, Alexander. We're married with kids. To be honest, I think they're jealous."

His eyes lit up for the first time in a long time. "You think so?"

"Absolutely! I mean, have you met me? I'm drop dead gorgeous. I'm everybody's type," I smiled as he laughed. "Come on. Let's get some sleep. Big day tomorrow."

He cocked his head to the side. "What's happening tomorrow?"

Instead of answering, I leaned down and placed my mouth on his, kissing him slowly and entwining my fingers in his black locks. He moaned into my mouth, kissing me back as if this was going to be our last night together. 

I surprised myself when I moved on top of him, lips still attached to his except I now held his beautiful face between my hands as we continued to do our ballroom lip dancing; slow and graceful. What surprised me even more was when Alec pushed me off and flipped me over on my back so that he was now on top. His eyes were blazing with such life that it kind of caught me off guard. It almost reminded me of the good old days when we used to argue who made a better top and bottom. 

Don't ask. 

"Magnus.....someone might hear us," he whispered. 

"I'll soundproof the room. Just don't stop kissing me...." I cupped the back of his neck and pulled him down so that his lips were on mine again, but it didn't take long for him to break away. "What's wrong?"

He sighed through his nose. "I feel like I'm forgetting something important here. Am I?"

How was I supposed to answer this? I couldn't exactly come out and say "Hey yeah you have Alzheimer's and you may forget this ever happened but let's makeout anyway because I miss how things used to be". 

"Oh yeah. You have a Clave meeting tomorrow. I completely forgot about that," I forced a chuckle. 

He seemed to believe me. "Damn. Can't believe I forgot about that. Good thing you reminded me too or else I would've missed it entirely. Thanks babe," he kissed me in thanks before reaching over and shutting off the lamp on his side of the bed. "Goodnight, Magnus."

I cleared my throat to hide he fact that I was on the verge of tears. "Yeah. Goodnight, angel. Sweet dreams."

Sweet dreams wasn't something I had that night. It was just one long continuous nightmare where Alec sat in a chair staring into a black oblivion, his eyes blank and lifeless. No matter how hard or how loud I screamed at him, he didn't respond to me. Not once. 

I woke up in a pool of sweat the next morning. My sheets were soaked, as was my skin and pillow. The shakes that racked my body slowly subsided the more I concentrated on my breathing. In and out. In and out. 

When I finally calmed down, it was only then I noticed that Alec's spot in bed was empty. I checked his bathroom. No sign of him in there. His clothes were still on the floor where he dropped them last night. So where the hell was he? Surely someone's noticed a 6'3 Shadowhunter walking around the institute in just his underwear. It was like Beyonce riding a dinosaur through Times Square. Someone's going to notice. 

I quickly slipped on a shirt and stepped out into the hallway. Isabelle was just coming out of her own room just when I shut the door to Alec's. Upon seeing me, she smirked and approached my end of the hall. 

"So. Make some memories last night?" She chuckled. 

"Not now, Isabelle. Have you seen Alec? He wasn't in bed when I woke up."

"Nope. But knowing him, he's either in the kitchen or in the training room. He was always up early in the morning to cook for me and Max when we were younger. Max liked pancakes. Maybe he's subconsciously remembering that."

I nodded. "Yeah. Maybe. Hey, listen. I need you to do me a favor if you can." I handed her a note with a list on it. "I need you to pick up these ingredients. It's important."

She looked it over. "Scale of a mermaid? Fairy wings? What do you need this for?"

"Like I said. It's important. Do you think you can do this without screwing up? I have until Friday to get this done or else my life is ruined forever."

Isabelle looked me in the eye like she usually does when she's staring into your soul. "Alec's your life. You're afraid of losing him."

She was right on the nose with that one. "Yes. Aren't you?"

She nodded. "Me too. I'll get you the stuff on the list today. Don't tell anyone where I went. Mermaid scales are a bitch to find on the market."

"I won't tell a soul. Just get me what I need. This could be the only way to save Alec from himself."

Isabelle Lightwood walked away like she had one goal in life, and I loved her for it. People really underestimated that young woman. She had a fire and a wit that would send people back to the trenches for cover and never come out again.

Alec wasn't in the kitchen when I checked, but Jace was. He was wearing gray sweats and a black t-shirt covered in sweat. He looked up when I poked my head into the room, nodding his head in greeting. 

"Hey. Looking for Alec?" He asked. 

"Yeah. Do you know where he is? I've been looking everywhere for him. Isabelle said he'd either be in here or the training room. Obviously he's not in here."

"He's in the training room. Has been since 4 am. I tried to get him to go back to bed but he's being a stubborn dick and won't listen to a word I say. So if you beat them, join them. Hence the sweaty clothes," he indicated his drenched clothes with a hand. 

I took a seat at the kitchen table. "But is he okay? Does he seem....you know..."

"Like he doesn't have some memory snatching illness?" I slouched in defeat, slightly embarrassed with my lack of word choice. "As far as I can tell, he seems okay. He's punching the sandbag, last I checked. He'll be moving onto martial arts training next. That's how his workout schedule used to go."

Jace looked tired. He could try and hide it all he wanted, but I'd still be able to see that he was tired. Whether it was this whole parabatai losing his memory thing or something else going on in his life, it was obviously draining on his heart, mind and soul. "Are you okay?" 

He looked up at me. "Me?"

"You're the only other person in the room, Jace."

He shrugged. "Define okay. Physically, I'm as healthy as an ox. Mentally, I could be doing better. Emotionally, I'm a wreck. So it's a mixed bowl of possibilities here."

I plucked a grape from the bowl in front of me. "What if I told you that I could quite possibly cure him?"

"Then I'd say go for it. If you can save my parabatai, then I won't stand in your way. You do what you have to do."

The grape tasted fresh when I popped it in my mouth. "I have Isabelle collecting ingredients right now for a spell. There's no guarantee that it'll work but we have to try."

Jace nodded. "Agreed. I'll do anything at this point. Even sacrifice myself."

"That kind of defeats the purpose, doesn't it? Heal Alec by sacrificing yourself so he can live the rest of his life without his parabatai?" I threw a grape at his head. "Real smart, Shadowhunter. Really smart indeed."

"I'd love to see you come up with a sure fire way to cure him. Like you wouldn't sacrifice yourself to save him? You're his damn husband. So start acting like one."

I slammed a fist on the table, making the room shake and the lights flicker with my anger. "Don't patronize me, Nephilim. I can take you from this world just as fast as you were born into it and I won't even bat an eyelash while doing it. Talk to me like that again and we'll see what happens."

He scowled but said nothing more in regards to the conversation. "He's in the training room of you want to see him. Good luck in trying to get through to him."

"Well maybe if his brother couldn't then maybe his husband can," I said cooly. This response alone marked the end of the conversation, so I left Jace to his own devices as I made my way to the training room. 

Alec was twirling a staff around like a pro, hitting dummy targets with ease. Imagine my surprise when he slowed things down a bit before moving with incredible speed and side flipping and taking one of the dummy's heads off with the staff. That sight will never get old. 

He finally noticed me standing in the doorway. "Morning. Sorry for sneaking out on you. Couldn't sleep."

"I don't blame you. You sleep on a bed of rocks," I chuckled. "Working hard?"

He shrugged and gulped down half of the contents in his water bottle. "I guess. This calms me down. Helps me focus and think."

The dummy's head rolled over to my foot. I picked it up. "Taking the heads off of plastic men calms you down?"

He shrugged again. "Whatever works."

"Hmm. True enough, I suppose. Listen, we need to talk about something. Can I steal you for a minute? Have a seat right here."

Alec sat beside me on the bench, his staff laying on the floor by our feet. "Is something wrong? Are you okay?"

I snorted. "I should be asking you that. Do you remember what you told me yesterday? About the cure?"

His brow furrowed in concentration. I could tell that he was trying really hard to recall what he said. "I think so. You have until Friday? Am I right?"

"Bingo. Well I just wanted to inform you that I may be on to something. It's a spell. It's really old and it requires a lot of power to use but I think it has a really good chance of curing you."

He sighed heavily while slumping against the wall. "Magnus....have you thought for a second about what I want? That maybe I don't want to remember anything? This could be my chance of starting over. Starting a new life. Fresh."

"I've always thought about what you want....but Alec, I've been around a long time and I learned that it's not always about what we want sometimes. Sometimes we have to do things for the better of others. People need you. Your family need you. I need you."

Whether or not this sunk in, it was impossible to tell. Alec's face was like a statue at the moment, and the more he just continued to stare off into space the more my anxiety kicked in as I thought about my nightmare from last night. 

"The terms are still the same. You have until Friday to find the cure or I'm going my own way. I deserve at least that much."

At this point my heart felt like it was in my throat choking me, cutting off the air in my lungs. His words were like getting a knife to the chest. "Alec....you don't mean that. You can't."

Alec suddenly whirled around on me, eyes blazing with anger. "Why? Why can't I mean that? Are you afraid of losing me, Magnus? You've already lost me. My memories are fading and there's nothing you can do about it so you feel helpless and lost as you search for a damn cure that doesn't even exist!"

The knife twisted in my chest. If it were a result knife, I'd be dead on the floor by now. Thank god it wasn't. "Okay. Fine. Friday. If I'm not ready with a cure by then, feel free to go. I won't stop you."

Alec squinted, dubious of my statement. "You'll let me go? Just like that?"

"Just like that."

This seemed to be a good enough answer for him. Walking away, he grabbed his staff again and began beating the crap out of the targets with it but with less grace than before. Now it was just pure anger coursing through him. 

Jace caught me out in the hallway. "Did you talk to him?" 

"Depends on what you mean by talk. He took the head off one of the poor dummies in there and then yelled at me for wanting what's best for him. So I guess in a sense, no. I didn't talk to him," I moved out of Jace's grasp but he caught me again. "Good grief, Nephilim. What do you want now?!" 

My face went from anger to surprise when I saw that Jace had tears rolling down his face. His voice was uneven when he spoke. "Cure him, Magnus. Do whatever it takes. I can't take it anymore. The bond feels so weak that it's killing me. I know he's not dead but he might as well be because that's what it practically feels like." He took a shaky breath to calm himself. "Just cure him. That's all I ask. Help my brother. Save him."

When you're in a situation like this, it's often difficult to find the right words to say. Sometimes all you need is nod or offer a reassuring smile. Me? I did neither. I hate being grabbed so I loosened Jace's grip on my arm and just simply walked away. I didn't want to make any more promises that I couldn't keep. 

Gillian was in Alec's bedroom when I got back to it, making wind noises to accompany the boat I fixed for him yesterday. When he saw me come in, he beamed and waved. "Hi uncle Magnus! How was your night?"

"Eventful," I scowled. "Why are you in here? Is something else broken?"

"No. Just wanted to say hi. Where's uncle Alec?"

I liked kids, but Gillian was really starting to get on my nerves just like his parents did once upon a time. "He's working out in the training room. I think he wants to be left alone for a while."

Gillian nodded. "How's the studying coming along?"

"Studying?"

"You know! You had all those books out yesterday. Weren't you studying for a test?"

Oh. The medical books that I didn't bother cleaning up before he barged into the room. "No. I was trying to find something important."

He plopped down beside me on the bed. "Did you find it?"

"No," I shook my head. "I didn't."

He hummed and fiddled with his boat. "Maybe you're looking too hard? Or maybe you're looking in the wrong place?"

The kid had a point. Maybe I was looking in the wrong places for the answer. The cure probably wasn't in any mundane medical book or document. It had to be a spell. I was right to choose a spell over scouring countless medical records for something as huge as this. 

"You know what, Gil? I think you're right. I'm thinking too small. I need to think bigger," I ruffled his red hair with a hand. "Thanks, kid. You've been a big help."

He smiled broadly. "You're welcome! I have to go do my rune studies now. Good luck, uncle Magnus!"

Strangely enough, I was motivated by the little Nephilim's words. I summoned my spell book and flipped through the pages until I found the spell I was looking for. 

Basically, this is how it worked. It was very much like a Recall rune except it was ten times more powerful (plus it was warlock magic. Much more effective than silly marks, contrary to popular beliefs). It helped recover lost memories and even helped keep your memories intact (see Mnemosyne in any Shadowhunter guide for more information. I'd go into details but I'm much too lazy). 

I prayed to the angel above that this would work. If not, all of my efforts would've gone to waste. All I needed was just a sign from someone (anyone) that this was going to work and everything was going to be okay-

"I got the ingredients you asked for," a voice echoed through the halls. Isabelle charged in the room and slapped a very greasy looking bag on the desk in front of me. "Everything you needed is in that bag."

I looked at the bag carefully. "Everything? Even the mermaid scale? They're not easy to find."

"Even the mermaid tail. Or merman. That's who I got it from. Don't ask me how. A lot of interrogating was involved. It wasn't easy."

Isabelle sat on the edge of the bed with her legs crossed. With her sitting like this, I noticed a string of seaweed sticking out from the back of her shirt. "Thanks, Isabelle. Might I suggest next time you interrogate the ingredients that you don't bring evidence home with you?"

Her eyes widened as I plucked the seaweed from her shirt. "Right. Sorry. Didn't realize that was there...." She cleared her throat in annoyance. "So what's the spell you're using? It must be powerful if you needed mermaid scales and blood of a newborn vampire. Almost sounds ritualistic."

"It really isn't," I said as I laid out the ingredients along the desktop. "Powerful spells require powerful ingredients. Sometimes even powerful objects. Especially for retrieving one's memory. It's not as simple as snapping my fingers and suddenly everything's hunky dory. It's complicated."

Isabelle sighed heavily. "Most things in life usually are.....is there anything else you needed? Pewter cauldron? Wand? Owl? Cat? Toad?"

I glared at her with my cat eyes. "No. That'll be all. But thank you for bringing me this stuff. It means a lot to me."

Isabelle got to her feet, her heels clicking on the floor as she moved a couple of feet towards the door before looking over her shoulder at me. "I didn't do this for you, Magnus. I did this for my brother."

I said nothing when she left, mainly because I didn't know what to say. Isabelle and I were on good terms. We always have been. And I understood where she was coming from. Her brother was fading away and I was the only person she knew that could help heal him. Of course she was doing this for him. It was understandable. I'd do the same.

Most people would've given up on Alec. I kid you not. They would've tried to find a way to help him once and then treat him like a lost cause which he isn't. I firmly believe that this spell can cure him to some extent if not cure him completely and I wasn't giving up until I got this right. 

And I actually needed a cauldron, it turns out. Clary brought it to me because I didn't want to face Isabelle's 'I Told You So' expression and then be embarrassed for the rest of my immortal life. 

"What's that smell? It's like week old Chinese food in here...." Clary covered her nostrils as she set the pot down beside the ingredients. 

"That, little red, is the smell of a 50/50 chance of curing Alexander. As toxic as it smells, it probably taste much better than it looks-" I lift the tentacle of a Raum demon and cringed. "I take back what I said. It smells better than it looks."

Clary made a face. "All this is going to cure Alec?"

"That's the general idea. I didn't just collect this crap for a good time, that's for sure."

"What are you supposed to do with it? Make a magical milkshake?"

I sighed and looked at her. "Don't you have somewhere to be? Anywhere? That's not here?"

She gave me a look that could kill. "I'm just trying to help, Magnus. Alec is like a brother to me. I'd hate to see anything happen to him. If something did happen....it would kill my husband. Jace wouldn't be the same after that."

I never fully understood the power of the parabatai bond, but I've seen its power throughout my centuries of walking this earth. I've seen its good side. I've seen its bad side. I've seen it all. There was no other bond that compared to the bonds of parabatai. None. Not even a mother/child bond. This one was made by the angel himself and forged with the fire of heaven. Gifted with it, you're ten times stronger than any other Shadowhunter. Broken, the soul is shattered and you're left with nothing but an empty shell of your former self. 

"Tell Jace I need him for a moment. There's something of his I need for the spell."

Clary snorted. "If it's virgin Shadowhunter energy you're referring to, you're about 20 years too late."

I mentally gagged. "Okay. First of all, that's not what I needed. Second of all, ew. I didn't need to know about your first heterosexual encounter. That's what mundanes call TMI. Too much information."

"Yeah I know what that means, Magnus. Thank you," Clary scoffed. "I'll go get him right now. Maybe he can enlighten you with our first heterosexual encounter. He probably remembers better than I do."

It was my turn to snort. "That statement, my dear, speaks volumes. Make sure you don't repeat that around your husband. I don't think he'd appreciate that very much. Your first time is supposed to be memorable."

"Oh, like you remember your first time? You're hundreds of years old!"

"I do. It doesn't matter how old you are, you remember your first time. Mind you, there was no such thing as condoms back in the day. They used purified sheep skin. Thinned so that it rolls easily onto the p-"

"Jace! Magnus needs you for something! Please come up here and save me. I'm about to get the history of the condom and I really don't want to hear another word!"

Jace was in the room a moment later, dismissing Clary (who couldn't leave the room fast enough). He didn't mind getting his hands dirty when it came to cutting up the ingredients into smaller portions. 

"Alec's still in the training room. He hasn't stopped since this morning," he said, keeping his eyes on the Raum tentacle. 

"That doesn't surprise me, to be honest. Even when his mind was good he always trained hard. Pushed himself to the limit."

Jace sighed. Something was troubling him but he wasn't telling me what. "I worry about him, Magnus."

"Don't we all?"

"No I mean...." The muscles in his cheekbones flexed as he clenched his jaw. "I worry that there's something else going on besides the whole memory thing."

I paused from boiling the water in the cauldron to look up at Jace. "Like what? I can only do one thing at a time here, Jace. Cure one thing at a time."

Jace shook his head. "There was a time when we were kids that Alec went through a dark patch in life. He shut down, ignoring me and Isabelle for three weeks straight before even acknowdging our existence. He never told us what was wrong and we never asked. This is very similar to what happened then."

I think I knew what he was talking about. "I think you're referring to depression. I can't cure that unfortunately. The person has to want to get better on their own terms. A potion or spell can't help them there."

Jace scoffed. "You must be joking. You can cure freaking Alzheimer's and probably cancer but you can't make someone's depression go away?"

I slammed the knife down on the table. "Listen, Herondale. You're really trying my patience today. This is the second time you've gotten on my nerves, and I wouldn't risk gunning for a third. I'm doing my damn best here to help Alec. It's a hell of a lot more than what you and your merry band of Nephilim downstairs are doing. So back off and cut up those werewolf tongues. It's bad enough they're illegal as it is."

Jace fell quiet and did as he was told. This was a rare thing for him to do, seeing how he practically never listened to orders and normally went to the beat of his own drum. 

After we were finished mixing them into the pot, I sighed heavily. "I don't like this any more than you do. But there's a good possibility that this could work. We'll get Alec back. Our Alec."

He nodded. "Yeah. I know."

"I need you with me 120% along the way. It won't be easy trying to give Alec the cure."

"I know."

"He'll try and resist us."

"Nobody can resist me."

I rolled my eyes. "I meant he'll fight us. We only get one shot at this. If we fail, I can't make another potion. Isabelle would get in trouble if anyone finds out she delivered this to me. Plus I only have until Friday to get this overwith."

Jace checked his phone. "That's tomorrow. Isn't the deal off by then?"

I shrugged, not even considering that once. "Not sure. I'm assuming he'll let me try once. Then he....you know."

Jace nodded. "Well, that's done and overwith. The hard part comes tomorrow. Either this can all end or the worst is inevitable"

"Well aren't you a ray of sunshine after the rain?" I clapped Jace on the back and shoved him out the door. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have to prepare myself to perform the spell. Unless you want to share your energy with me? I prefer virgin energy but we both know that's not what we're working with here...."

He scowled. "I'll help you tomorrow in case Alec puts up a fight. 7 am. Meet me in the dining room."

That night was torture. It was like staying awake the night before a test dreading it because you knew this could either make you or break you. This was all a test. This spell could either make me or break me. 

Alec slept god knows where. He didn't return to our room that night, so I suspected he found a spot somewhere in the building and holed up there for the time being. Whether or not he was hiding from the events that tomorrow would eventually bring, it was hard to say. You can't really tell with him anymore. 

The cauldron was still boiling with my magical fire. I knew this because I could hear the faint bubbling of the water inside and smell the stench of the broth. It wasn't your average, run of the mill soup you'd find in a restaurant, that's for sure. I wouldn't even feed this to my cat on a good day. The smell was terrible. I could only imagine what the taste was like. 

Unable to sleep, I slipped on a silk robe I conjured from my apartment and stepped out into the hall. The faint voices of wide awake Shadowhunters could be heard downstairs (these people barely sleep) and I didn't bother to go down to see what the hubbub was about. Shadowhunter problems weren't a concern of mine. 

The one concern I had right now was Alec. Where was he? Is he sleeping? Is he comfortable? I had to find out. It was killing me not knowing he was okay, so I did what any good husband would do: I grabbed a quilt from the bed and carried it with me as I searched for him. In case I did find him and he wasn't covered up, I could at least drape this over him so he doesn't catch a cold. 

I laughed to myself. Honestly, I laugh at myself a lot. You tend to when you're as old as I am (not that many people are). Here I was worried about my husband catching a cold when he was rapidly losing his memory and his self being. Idiot, Magnus. You're such a damn idiot. 

I poked my head into a room that had its door cracked open a little. With a startled gasp, I saw Alec curled up on a bench next to a punching bag, hands tucked under his head like a small child. He was breathing deeply but he was also shivering as I got close enough to get a good look at him. 

But that's not what surprised me the most. What really got to me was that this was the same room I found him shirtless in years ago when his parents were under scrutiny by the Clave when they found out Valentine was back and the institute was run by that Branwell lady whose name I can't quite recall. He was working out when I brought him autopsy reports on a dead Forsake (shirtless, mind you) and I told him to follow his heart and do what's right. I didn't expect him to propose to the Branwell. I was actually hoping he'd ask me out. He was full of surprises. 

I unfolded the quilt and threw it over him. Almost immediately, he stopped shivering and sighed happily as his body felt the heat I had coursing through it with my magic. He looked so calm and at ease when he was asleep. 

"Mmm," he moaned. "Magnus?"

I stroked his hair. "Shhh. Go back to sleep, gorgeous. You're just having a bad dream. I'll protect you from the nightmares."

He nodded and rest his head on my lap, cuddling into both me and the blanket. 

If I had any sense in me, I would've brought the potion with me and performed the spell right here and now, but it was nowhere near to completion. It still had to settle and turn into a murky green color before it was of any good to anyone. Once again, I'm an idiot. A complete and total idiot. 

That morning I woke up with a crick in my neck and a pain in my lower back. Alec was still laying across my lap sound asleep, and I didn't dare move in case I woke him up from a well needed sleep. Luckily, my phone was in my robe pocket so I text Jace and asked him to check on the potion. If it was murky green, then it was ready. If it was, bring it to me in the room across from the female shower room. 

A few minutes later he arrived with a vial in his hand. His face was set with determination as he got down on his knees and handed me the glass.  

"So it's ready then? The potion, I mean." 

I nodded. "More ready than I am, to be honest. Like I said. He may fight us so be ready to hold him down if it comes to that."

His eyes darted from the vial down to Alec. "This better work. I'm tired of getting my hopes up."

"So am I, Jace. So am I...." I gently turned Alec over on his back and opened his mouth slightly. "This is going to taste disgusting, beautiful. I'm so sorry about this...."

The liquid rolled out of the vial and into his mouth. Alec licked his lips and I saw his throat move as he swallowed, but he immediately began to gag and cough. 

"Now, Magnus. Do the spell!" Jace grasped Alec's arms and pinned them to the floor as the older Shadowhunter tried to get to his feet and fight. 

I chanted in an old dialect that was long lost to mankind with such determination and hope that I felt that the words were a lot more powerful than they should've been. Alec seemed to feel it too; he was writhing in agony, back arching off the floor and knuckles turning white. 

"Hurry Magnus! I can't hold him down much longer!" Jace grunted, his lip beginning to bleed when Alec head butt his chin and he bit his lip. 

Alec suddenly broke free and knocked Jace to the floor. By some freak of nature, I grabbed his arm and whirled him around to face me. The room was shaking with such force that objects were being thrown left and right and the lights above us were flickering from the power of the spell. 

"I don't want to remember!" Alec screamed. "I don't want to go back to my old life!"

"That's too freaking bad! I need you, Alexander! More than I've ever needed anything in my life! I need you to come back to me!" I yelled over the noise of crashing objects. "I refuse to let you remember me in pieces! Let me show you what you're forgetting!"

I leaned my forehead against his and a brilliant flash of blue and red light swirled around us as I let the flow of my memories fill his mind. He gasped from the sudden intrusion in his mind; the first time we met, our first date, holding hands on the balcony of my loft, adopting our boys. Everything that was important to us filled his mind and hopefully his heart too. 

"Please come back to me, Alec. Come back...." I pressed my lips against his and kissed him with more passion than I've ever kissed him in my years I've known him. 

Suddenly the room stopped shaking and the lights went back to normal. Was it over? Did the spell work? My body was shaking with anticipation and nerves as I waited for something to happen. Like a chorus of angels singing hallelujah or something. Anything. 

Alec stirred in my arms. His eyes slowly opened, blinking against the bright fluorescent lights. His gaze moved around the room before finding me, his brows furrowing in confusion. 

Oh no. The spell didn't work. I made things worse. I screwed up everything-

"Magnus? What's going on? Why are we in the institute?" His voice sounded raspy as he spoke. "Why is Jace on the floor?"

I couldn't contain myself any longer. Breaking out into a sob, I embraced him and kissed his hair, his face, everywhere my lips would allow. "Oh my god. Alexander. My sweet little archer boy.....it's you. It's really you."

"Uh.....yeah. It's me. What's going on?" He saw the state of the room and his eyes grew wide. "Oh dear. My mother isn't going to be pleased to see her ceramic plate collection shattered on the floor. Was there an earthquake?"

Jace groaned from the floor beside us. "Did it work? Is he okay?"

"Get up and see for yourself," I smirked, my hand busy stroking Alec's hair. "Alec? Who's that on the floor?"

Alec raised an eyebrow. "That's Jace. My brother. Seriously guys-what the hell is going on here?"

"You don't remember?" I asked. 

He scratched his head. "Remember what? Did something happen? The last thing I remember is being down in the training room for some reason. The rest is kinda foggy."

Jace cleared his throat. "Alec.....you had Alzheimer's. Magnus cured you of it. You were losing your memory. Fast. So he performed a spell and cured you of it. You're back to normal now....I think."

Alec made a 'huh' sound. "Funny. It's ironic. I don't remember having Alzheimer's."

"Thank god," I kissed him again. "Thank the angel this is over. I have my husband back. I thought I was going to lose you forever."

Alec smiled the brilliant white smile that I've missed for a very long time. "You're not going to lose me, Magnus. Never."

I held his face between my hands. "I better not. I'll be pissed at you for lying to me."

He chuckled and kissed me. "I'm not lying. You won't lose me. At least not like that-"

"Don't even start. Actually, just shut up altogether and let me kiss you."

He smirked as my lips touched his but he didn't object. He just kept quiet and I fell back into the familiar embrace that I missed for a very long time.


End file.
